November 09 01:15
Tonight I stood outside on deck seven just appreciating the fresh air and the beautiful sight of the outside world. I have realized one important missing factor from my time onboard, I need to write. It doesn’t matter if what I write is a concoction of jumbled thoughts thrown together, as long as I write those thoughts down. To write is to escape, and onboard you cannot live without finding a way to do so. Tonight as I stood outside breathing in every breath one treasured moment at a time, I completely immersed my thoughts into themselves. The water rumbling and crashing against the side of my new home rose to the surface with a shimmering colour of faded topaz blue, and in the distance I faded into sky that alit with sharp flashes of lightning. I was completely alone, and for those ten minutes I felt as if I had lived a life time of treasured minutes that no one would ever understand or appreciate as much as I did right then. I can’t explain how it feels to be completely alone, and I have never really felt it as solely as I did now. Standing on a ship, in an alley where no one really steps foot in the early hours of the morning, I completely let myself go with my own thoughts. I took in every breath of that warm sea air and I drowned my soul in the picturesque beauty of solitude. Curled up in my bed now, thinking back to that moment I just shared with my only link to nature, I am completely amazed at how such a small means of escape can become the muse and the answer to all my pent up frustration that has been building over the last three weeks. With endless nights of unstructured thoughts and meaningless worries, I think that finally I am able to get a peaceful night of rest and hopefully a fresh start to a new day. Yes, I believe this is the answer. This is the only way I am going to make it through the next seven months onboard a floating prison. It is time to let this mind wonder with the open air of the sea, and let my heart keep breathing with the rhythm and sound of the ocean crashing against my bedroom walls. With a big sigh, I am finally ready to rest my head, thoughts and worries, and rejoin my soul in its haven that I have just discovered. I cannot wait to close my eyes and escape once more to a place that is completely my own, a place where I am free from all the pressure that has been bestowed upon me. This is a place where I am safe, and a place where I can fulfil all the needs in my heart, even if it is for just a moment, it is a moment that lasts a lifetime. Goodnight.
04 November 09 17:55
The water is beautiful today, its colours are ranging from a deep blue to a misty purple, and it looks almost as if it has been high lighted by an artist with a paintbrush dipped in a light blue water colour. This has become part of my routine, sitting outside in my isolation enjoying the fresh air and the beauty of the sea. Today however I have brought my laptop with me, and whilst I sit here on the stairs with my music playing, I can almost feel my tension being whipped away by the warm breeze that’s stroking my face. The clouds are coated with a pink lining today, and they are hovering above this pallet of ocean colours, comforting my floating island. I can feel the sun departing, as the air becomes a little less humid and the sparkle of the oceans surface slowly sinks to the bottom of a world where my day dreams seem to spend a lot of their time. As I glance up to inhale another breath of my ever so slightly changing scenery, I notice a grey curtain of rain that seems to remain stagnant in the sky. This curtain seems to be in the wake of my mobile home, and up ahead we are headed straight for the clashing colours of orange, yellow and a deep grey as the sky seems to tease us with its threats of another bumpy ride. The president of our government is made up of only one form, and that is time. My watch has become my ruler and my ball and chain. As I realise I have entitled myself to far too much freedom, and that I am surely well over my allowance, I take a quick glance down at my superior and lo and behold, it is once again time to jump into the sewer of the rat race I voluntarily joined. This is a true example of the anagram bitter sweet, although nothing could ever replace the sweet, life has the perfected the art of balancing absolutely everything. What a beautiful day in the ocean, and how blessed I am to have learnt the art of complete appreciation. This has become my reward for a tough comrade inside the walls of my mobile island.
05 November 09:00
I cannot stop smiling! Today was probably my most challenging day work wise, but nothing seems to be able to blind my positive eyewearJ The clouds are coated in silver, and are still cushioning my floating island that seems to fit in the scenery so snugly. The water is a lighter topaz blue, but the painter has still left his light blue water colour trade mark. I have realized that the painter has a name; he is a she who goes by the name of the MSC Poesia, the poetry of the sea. This light water colour blue highlights only the path of the painter, and is not present in any other area of the ocean, how ironic. Today, I have been given longer leisure away from my ball and chain. For at least a few moments I am allowed one hundred percent freedom from the thoughts of returning to the rat race in the burrow, or should I say bough. The sun is coating my skin with a warm glow, and the reflection of the water is sparkling like an inverted version of the night sky. I wonder if the world underneath this sky can enjoy the variances between the night and the day, or are they permanently covered by this inverted night sky. I feel so at peace in this moment, as I always do. How lucky I am to have found a small way to capture it and selfishly enjoy it whenever my hearts feels the need. This small pleasure has become the fuel to my days, this along with a few stolen moments over a phone, I have truly found the perfect formulae to make the great escape from my prison.
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