It has been a year since my last contract on my mobile home. What an achievement! Disregarding the six times I moved around South Africa trying to find my concrete feet of course.
Being born with a passion for the new and ever changing, I am finding it extremely difficult to "buckle down", as many have labeled it. It is not for a lack of trying, or for a bad mental attitude that I have not managed, but for a greater battle inside between my passion and my logic.
Think of it this way... if you had to choose between a house with a magnificent garden, or a house with many rooms to choose from, which would you choose? I know you could probably have both, but that would come at a huge monetary price. The same as travelling whilst having an established home would be near to impossible at this age. It is not as if leaving behind all my roots and stability is easy for me. Its not. Although in the same breath it is not easy to sit in the rat race of life, while my heart wanders 24/7 to foreign places. This is firstly not simple to explain, and secondly even harder for many people to understand. I have been told by many people that this is the way life is. Its a battle, and its not easy. Living a life of routine is the way its done. My question to so many people is why? Why battle and work an 8-5 job everyday just to enjoy two days on a weekend? Why work so hard just to live? This is where I realise I may be different to quite a few people. Maybe I am young, and maybe I haven't fully developed the need to be a home maker, even though a part of me is absolutely desperate to settle. The problem is that the part of me that loves to explore and discover is greater than the love of settling.
Its become even harder now, and the sacrifice may not be monetary but extremely personal. I have found myself in a difficult place, because physically I am here on land, in a home, with someone I could easily spend my life with, BUT my constant searching and dreaming of foreign places has made the situation very hard. Not for just myself, but the people around me.
So here we are again. Five days to go, and I have decided to take on another contract for a life of sea and travel. This comes at a huge price of sacrifice. The only thing that is different is that I will go with a broadened horizon, and bigger picture of both lifestyles. This time I have a goal set for returning to the rat race, and fully embracing my time away knowingly going with the mind set that I will be permanently returning.
Instead of focusing all my love on travelling, I have come to realise that I still harbour many other passions. The love of cooking, reading, writing and singing. I have hope that after this final trip as a young explorer, I will make the transition from a traveller to a home maker.
I plan on documenting everything in my blog so that I have an anchor. A reminder of my achievement so far. Most of you may read this and think I am either totally batty, or you may be a traveller like me and completely relate. If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that I am most definitely not alone in my thinking.
There is a difference between being a traveller, an explorer and being a tourist. This is something I cannot explain easily. Its just something I feel.
So without many answers but more direction, I will pack my bag, and once again jump into the craziness of the unknown.
